I feel like I can do anything now…
In September, I turned to my blog to express my overwhelming excitement and panic about taking one of my biggest career leaps. Now, almost five months to the day, everything has changed.
When I got the news that I would become the newest editor at Styleblazer.com, I did three things. First, I said yes. Then, I called my parents. Then, I remembered that the Knicks were playing, and that final thought inspires me to glide my fingers across my keyboard tonight…
Jeremy Lin’s promo song on MSG is Eminem’s “Cinderella Man.” The song sums up his journey to becoming a Knicks phenomenon like no other. A Harvard grad with an Economics degree, almost on his way out of the NBA forever, was given one more chance. And within two weeks, he went from sleeping on his brother’s couch (shout outs to NYU), to becoming the biggest player the Knicks have seen in ages, playing among his idols and giving them a run for their money on the basketball court. And that’s exactly the kind of journey that we can all relate to, but it’s one that hits me to my core.
For me, all signs pointed to medical school. As a full scholarship NYU grad, giving up the stability and prestige of practicing medicine for an uncertain journalism career seemed insane. Especially for someone who doesn’t do well in uncertainty. But for every pang of anxiety I felt after making that decision, there was another pang of excitement, that “knowingness,” or God-given intuition, that tells us we’re meant for something else. And that’s something I’ve never been able to ignore.
When I graduated from NYU, I was almost immediately thrust into layoffs. A stop and go journalism path left me exhausted, discouraged, doubtful of my talents, and barely making ends meet. But I just kept trying. Once I found that stability, in a media job where I barely wrote, I felt that excitement vs. anxiety fight in my core again, and I knew I had to make a change. But this time, God shook those tectonic plates, and I was forced to fight or fly. And I fought and flew.
Five months after leaving stability, I have helped to shape TanningofAmerica.com, a site with a message that’s so important to me. I helped a Love & Hip Hop star find the beauty in herself, talked about fourth grade crushes with R&B singers, and gushed to Johnny Gill. And now, I’m starting the chapter I’ve been anticipating since I asked my mom for a Talkboy, and started recording my own talk show at nine years old. Or when I asked my Nana to teach me words in the dictionary so I could write stories when I was three. The path was there all along, and I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to keep dreaming those big dreams. Finally, I can show them what I can do.
To everyone who has e-mailed me, and told me about their dreams, please, pursue them. Let me be the proof that it can be done. Chart your own journey, and live out loud. You aren’t too old, or too young, or not enough of anything. You are enough right now. It’s hard, you will get knocked around, but you can win. Take your Cinderella leap of faith.
Lots of love to everyone who has been there for me throughout this process. I love each and every one of you. There’s no me without you.