Unhappily Ever After? Keeping Up With Kim’s Divorce

Ok, time to address the elephant in the room.

For the past 72 hours, I’ve had news updates about Kim Kardashian and the divorce fallout ending her 72 day marriage minimized on my computer screen while I write. After watching the four hour wedding special on E!– which actually averages about 10 hours of watching it over and over again on my DVR, we’re all friends here– it’s hard to believe the fairy tale is already over. Or is it not that hard to believe? Was she really in love, or was this all a publicity stunt, to add more millions to the Kardashian empire? Should I sympathize with the broken-hearted, or send her a snarky @mention on Twitter? I’m so conflicted!

If you are a twentysomething female grappling with the same questions, then this post is for you.

I’m by no means a Kim Kardashian fan. I avoided Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and all of its spinoffs, merchandising, and lingo, for years. Until I watched a marathon on E! one lazy Sunday afternoon, and got totally hooked. Kim is my least favorite of the Kardashian brew. She is too materialistic and has no talent other than “smizing” (that’s smiling with your eyes, for those who don’t watch America’s Next Top Model) for my tastes. After accusing her mother of giving her psoriasis, and freaking out about losing $175K earrings in the beautiful waters of Bora Bora, I was pretty much done. My favorite is Khloe. She seems to be the one who speaks her mind, and I think she’s too cute with Lam Lam. In fact, my girl Khloe predicted this was a bad match from the beginning, but Kim chided her for not supporting her love. One more cool point for Khloe. Bible.

As I watched the wedding episode, there were so many red flags. She hated his dogs. Guys, never trust a woman who hates your dogs! Her family didn’t like him at all. For someone who prides herself on being from a tight-knit family, this just didn’t seem very smart. She told him that he would have to get a nicer apartment in New York, or it “just wasn’t worth it” to her– in the car, on the night he planned to propose to her. Her sisters kept comparing her to Elizabeth Taylor. Err, she’s beautiful, but didn’t she get married eight times? Not the ideal comparison. In hindsight, the biggest fiery red flag of all was that she didn’t take his last name! I feel like one of the most exciting parts about getting married is taking your husband’s last name. In her confessional she proclaimed, “Kardashian for life, baby.” And I get it. I’ll always be a Gomez girl, but I’m still excited to be “Gomez-Something-or-other” one day. If this was all a sham, I guess that decision keeps things from getting too messy.

Stepping away from the Kardasian-ness of it all, Kim’s wedding was an absolute dream. It’s hard for a girl not to get somewhat swept away in it. Three wedding dresses custom-made by Vera Wang herself. Count them. Three. From Vera. Herself. A banquet prepared by Wolfgang Puck. Gorgeous diamonds and Lorraine Schwartz jewels. And cute little Mason in a tux. But throughout all the glitz, glamour and every trimming one could imagine, something seemed missing. Love.

Today, a somber Kim gave her first interview to an Australian radio station, the morning after she posted an apology to her fans on her blog. “I’m a hopeless romantic,” she writes. Kris Humphries is said to be devastated. When I’m away from the news reports, I tend to feel bad for her. I’m a mama bear by nature, and hate when anyone’s hurt. But at the same time, I can’t help but feel duped. As E! re-airs the wedding, and gears up for Kourtney & Kim Take New York, again I find myself torn. Do I watch to figure out what went wrong? Or do I not watch in silent protest? Odds are I will be watching, as will most of their 10 million viewers. I’m caught in the web and I’m not sure I want to get out.

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