There are only so many words I can drag out of my vocabulary to say how awful that was…
Aww, the way they were.
Season 9 of American Idol premieres tonight, and Simon will be jumping ship once the winner is crowned. As a longtime viewer of the show (I couldn’t stay away if I tried), I was briefly saddened by the news. Paula Abdul’s exit was pretty easy to take, as I didn’t quite understand her most of the time. And I’m excited to hear Ellen’s kind but coherent opinions on the talent. But Simon is a tougher loss to take. Although harsh, he says what viewers are thinking, in such hilarious ways.
My sadness has now turned into excitement. This is the last season for his one-liners and I’m sure that he’s save the best for last. It’s also probably a smart move on his part, since part of the show’s appeal was the banter between him and Paula. His looks of confusion after Paula’s commentary were priceless.
As the new season of Idol begins, it’s like my part-time job is beginning. With two hour shows sometimes three times a week, the Idol fan really puts in work. And although every year I say that I won’t watch, I get captivated by the talent that has emerged from the stage. Over the course of the show, we’ve met Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Hudson, and Carrie Underwood, just to name a few. I love watching the journey. And with Simon’s last season here, I’m sure his lines will be so worth the hours of tv time.
Here are a few of my favorite lines. I’m gonna miss you, Simon.
“It sounded like cats jumping off the Empire State Building.”
“If we were searching for the best hotel singer in California, then that would have been quite good.”
“If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.”
“I never want to hear that song again. I cannot stand it. I’m allergic to it.”
“If we had to choose one American Idol to go out to dinner with, it would be Fantasia. There are no airs and graces about her . . . I like her.”